7.09.2010


I can't find the right words to describe how I feel because there are so many mixed emotions and thoughts running through my head at this point. I'm so full of hope for what the future holds, I'm completely trusting the Lord and His will for this situation, and I'm trusting Him to prepare me for whatever is to come.  Im ecstatic, elated, amazed, blessed, overjoyed, and excited (and any other word.emotion that connotes pure happiness).   Devin and I are closing in on our 2 year wedding anniversary (and almost 5 years together) and we can't think of a better present than the one we were blessed with.  We both shared Monday off, on which we woke up at 11am (which is unusual for me), and lo and behold... I was ready for another nap by 1pm.  I was thinking to myself, something is up I am NEVER this tired- all.day.long.  So as Devin and I were in the store doing our weekly shopping I suggested we pick up a test just in case.  I was like...there is NO way this happened this soon, but I might as well just take it to be safe.  As Devin was unpacking the groceries, I nonchalantly ran up the stairs to take the test (I didn't want him to think that I really thought I knew I was pregnant).  Let's just say, that was the longest 3 minutes of my entire life.  I was making the bed up to keep myself busy and decided it might be time to check.  I glanced down to the bathroom counter and it was as if the word 'PREGNANT' jumped out and hit me in the face.  I yelped, and screamed, and started jumping up and down, and yelling "We're Pregnant, We're Pregnant, We're Pregnant" all the way down the steps.  I was shaking from the inside out and so was Devin- who by the way was thrilled with this news.  But we still really couldn't believe it, so we went back to the store and after about 10 (Yes, +, PREGNANT) results, we were finally convinced.  I was overwhelmed with joy at the thought of this little life growing inside of me that was part me/part love of my life.  And yes I know, the typical rule is that you keep all of this joy hush, hush until 12 weeks have passed.  However, we immediately called our parents, close family, and close friends.  Yes we should've waited to tell, but Devin and I are far from conventional in the way we do things.  Surprise Wedding ring a bell?  We are aware that anything could happen in these first three months, since we just found out. But here's the thing:  God has a plan for us, this baby may or may not be included in that plan.  If something happens, there is a reason for it.  I will not be ashamed, or embarrassed. Yes, I would be devastated, and I would not enjoy reversing this great news to everyone, but I have faith that beauty will rise out of everything, even the bad.  Not everything is going to go our way in this life...and there is a far bigger plan for us in place than we can see.  I am hoping for everything to go perfectly.  I fall to my knees in prayer for this new life every chance I get.  For now all we can do is hope and pray and dream of what the future may bring.  And so this journey begins...we are so grateful, and we are so happy.