How Wonderful Life is Now That You're In the World

My oh my it's been a long time since I've blogged!  Life certainly shifts in a whole new direction once you have a child.  Life is no longer boring, or relaxing, or centered around my own wants & needs.  My life now revolves around my ever-growing, ever changing...laughing, smiling, cooing, scooting, almost crawling, hair pulling, perfect little blue eyed beauty.  And it also revolves around prayer...lots of prayer.  I've always prayed, and prayed, and prayed for everything and everyone...but it takes on a whole new meaning when you have someone you're responsible for.  I'm responsible for her well-being and for making sure that she grows into the best person she can be.  This past Sunday I heard Rusty say "Ask Not, Have Not'...and boy do I ask.  I ask for her protection, safety, health.  For God to make me the best mother I can possibly be and raise her the best possible way so one day when she can choose between right and wrong...she chooses right and decides to live her life for the one reason we were all put on this Earth...to bring glory to the Lord.  This world is so scary, and I've never been so scared in my life for her which brings me to my knees over and over and over again.  Sometimes I get myself so worked up over what bad things could happen that I just have to force myself to take a deep breath, and comfort myself in the fact that God is in control.  After all, she is His child first...she is on lend to me and He is trusting me to raise her and I will strive for the rest of my life to be the best mommy I can be.  I am forever grateful that I was blessed with such a beautiful gift and that I get to experience motherhood because it allows me to experience the most crazy kind of love.  It's a love that's unconditional, deep, gut-wrenching(I know that's a nasty sounding word, but sometimes I literally feel like my insides are now outside of my body walking (well, not yet) around...and I just want to scoop her up and put her back in my belly so I can always protect her.  lol.  I never understood a mother's love until now and it's a life-changing thing...let me tell you.  Kollyns is laying beside me in bed now snoozing away.  It's 7:30 pm so I know this probably means a long night for mommy...but I'll let her sleep because this is only her 2nd nap of the day.  The first was earlier for a mere 30 minutes.  We've come along way from the newborn stage.  I had no idea how much time I had when she was sleeping 20 out of 24 hours a day.  I would hold her for hours and just stare.  I still do that...but we've graduated from holding a perfectly still, silent newborn to a wiggly, giggly, cackling 5 month old.  She is so spoiled to her mommy because of a little bonding experience known as breastfeeding...she won't take a bottle so that means we never part (which I love).  She is taking EVERYTHING in now.  When I brush my teeth, she watches every swipe of the brush.  When I brush my hair she stares at the brush and squeals with excitement because she LOVESSSS my long hair.  When FinLee and BroDee come around she gets soooo excited and she tries to make her way to them so she can pull their fur too!  She's sitting up, crawling (backwards), pulling up, standing up (with assistance), drinking from a sippy cup, and rolling over...and over...and over...and TEETHING(yikes!).  It's crazy how quick they grow up...I can't believe how fast this is going by...she will be 6 months old this month!  That's like 1/2 a year! Whaaaatttt?  Feels like I just got pregnant.  Life is fleeting.  So we do the best we can to soak up every single sweet moment.  We are so thankful that we have our own little sunshine to remind us that life really is beautiful, and we are enjoying every second with our precious girl!