Smart girl...

Whenever you try to eat, the dogs will not leave you alone. (Probably because 75% of the time, you are secretly feeding them your food.) But when mommy fixes you something that you really really like (like a peanut butter sandwich)...you will sit in your car with your cup in the passenger seat, prop those feet up & enjoy your food as the dogs suffer the ultimate disappointment of realizing you're keeping this snack all to yourself! You crack me up pretty girl! Mommy loves!!!

Where does the time go?

My sweet girl,

Next month we will be celebrating your 2nd birthday! How in the world did that happen? Mommy cannot believe how fast time flies.  It feels like I was just holding you for the first time and I remember every moment from that day, but that was so long ago.  You make life so much fun for us!  We enjoy so much watching you learn and grow...and even watch you come into your own and pitch little fits (actually they are rather big, embarrassing fits).  They are few and far between, but I'm trying to figure out how to handle the terrible two's that we are told will be coming soon.  We are getting little glimpses of your strong willed nature when things don't quite go your way and I have a hard time not laughing.  These are the moments where I have to step in and teach you how to handle situations.  For now, when you scream in anger or do things that you aren't supposed to...I put you in a hold (a time out for toddlers who don't quite understand the concept of sitting still, complements of Aunt Shana).  I sit you in my lap facing outward and hold your left arm with my right hand and your right arm with my left hand (It's almost like you are hugging yourself), and I count aloud to 10.  You absolutely HATE this.  You scream as if I'm torturing you, but after I count to 10 you immediately stop screaming and find something to play with like it never even happened.  You are too funny, which is why I face you away from me when I am trying to teach you a lesson so you can't see me laughing at myself as I try to enforce rules and boundaries.  You reached a big milestone this past Sunday night at church.  I took you down to the nursery and you walked right in and started playing without even missing me.  It was sad for mommy, but it was also nice because I like that you are becoming independent and learning how to play with friends.  As an only child who comes with me to work everyday I was worried you would have a hard time adjusting...but you definitely fall right into place with kids your age.  You have been having a blast playing with your new Christmas toys!  MarLee taught you how to ride your little powerwheels 4 wheeler up and down the halls at work and you think you are something else.  Everytime I look I see you flying by my office door grinning from ear to ear.  You haven't quite figured out how to steer yet and even when you run into a wall you keep your finger on the button because you enjoy watching the wheels spin in place (haha) and when you get tired of that...you get off, turn it around and go back down the hall! This keeps you entertained for a long time.  You also love your magnetic Melissa & Doug dolls and making mommy food in your new kitchen.  You will sit in your new Mercedes car when we are in the playroom and push all of the buttons but you aren't very comfortable with driving that yet.  You've also developed a new love for torturing our dogs.  I'm trying my best to teach you that this isn't funny and I'm not sure where this is coming from.  You will hold their treat bag in your hand because you love to give them their treats and stand there laughing hysterically while they bark at you, begging for a treat.  Then you finally let them have their way.  And you also like chasing them around with the musical instruments from your new band set.  Not very nice...I'm trying to break you of this.  You have started to ask to use the potty sometimes...but only because you want me to give you a MiMi (M&M) when you are finished. Heyyy, whatever works! Oh and I have to trick you into eating fruits and vegetables by baking them into the shape of fries.  Your favorite foods are chicken nuggets, french fries, spaghetti, bread, peanut butter sandwiches and yogurt (but only if it's in the cute little gogurt to-go tubes).  Your favorite thing to drink is water, although your grandparents are forever trying to slip you soda (gross) and that drives mommy crazy...because if I've done anything well, it's teach you to love water!!!  What else is new this week?  Oh, you give the best hugs and kisses...and you won't go to sleep until we say our prayers and you kiss mommy, daddy, BroDee, and
FinLee goodnight!  Guess it's time for me to stop typing out my random thoughts and start planning your birthday party little one!  I love You!

Mommy

Captured: Our December Instagram Pics

Letting you choose...

Kollyns,
Today I told you to go in your room & pick out something to wear. You said "okay mommy, wait" and you came back with your bumblebee headband, a tye dyed shirt & brown fuzzy boots . I'm pretty sure I laughed for a good 5 minutes as you dressed yourself. I was tempted to actually let you go out in public in this because you were so proud of your choices! But it's 40 degrees out, & pants are a must. I love you, my funny little girl. You keep me entertained at all times! XoXo -Mommy

Oh What Fun...

My dearest Kollyns,

This Christmas was my best one yet because of YOU my precious girl.  You make everything so magical & fun.  I felt like a kid again because I was able to see life through the eyes of sweet little innocent you.  As you tore into those presents your big bright blue eyes were filled with wonder and excitement.  Oh to be a kid again and not have a worry in the world.  My heart was so full this season because you fill my life with so much more than I could've ever imagined.  This year your vibrant personality was on display for all to see and it made us that much more excited for the years to come.  You see the beauty in everything and you glow...and that makes me see the beauty in everything as well.  I love you so much sweet girl of mine.  You make me want to be the best person I can be and I promise to be that for you because you deserve it.

Memories I want to carry from this Christmas:

You wouldn't stop unwrapping a present until each little piece of paper was off of the gift. 

Anytime you opened a baby doll, we might as well come back to unwrapping later, because the baby doll held your attention for at least 5 minutes. 

Any new clothes or shoes you got had to be put on right in that moment.  You are definitely all girl. 

Once we moved all of your toys into your playroom you would be playing and come find me, grab me by the hand and say "play mommy."  I would sit down, you would find your favorite toy and bring it to me...then you would sit in my lap and we would play and play.

I have moved up from being mama to Mommy.  Your new thing is to say: mommy, mommy, mommy, MOMMY, mommy, MOMMY.  Over, and over, and over again. I love it.

And I love you. To the moon & back.

A New Perspective.

Ever since Kollyns was born I have poured prayers of protection over her.  It's impossible to make sense of a tragedy such as the one Newtown just recently endured.  I cannot fathom the pain and suffering of those parents and those families.  It makes you wonder WHY.  Some would be quick to say why would God allow this to happen?  The truth is God doesn't make choices for people.  People have free will to choose to act as they desire and when things like this happen it reveals exactly how much the world needs our Savior.  It breaks my heart to see what a broken and twisted world my little girl has to grow up in.  It's so sad to see the lack of value people place on human life and the ways that people knowingly and unknowingly hurt one another on a daily basis.  There won't be peace on Earth again until the Lord comes back and none of us know when that will be.  So all we can do is pray and show God's love to everyone we come in contact with and hope that with each little thing we do nice for someone, we are contributing to making a difference.  I pray for my sweet little girl almost as much as I breathe.  I beg God to create in her a pure heart that loves everyone and sees everyone as He does.  I hope she has the heart of a servant, after all that is why we are here... and sees her worth through the eyes of her Heavenly Father.  On top of the crazy amount of sadness I took away from watching these families go through this from far away on a tv screen, I also took away a new perspective.  It's easy to forget how short our time here on Earth is.  It's easy to forget to tell the people we love that we love them.  The principal that lost her life has a daughter that was on the news reading one of the many sweet 'just because' notes her mom had written her telling her how important she is to her and that she is never alone even in her darkest hour.  I saw this beautiful daughter of hers reading this note on camera and I felt the tears begin to stream.  All she has left are the memories and these sweet notes her mom has written her through the years.  Kollyns took my face in her little hands and kissed my tears.  My heart melted and this struck a chord with the mediocre writer inside of me & inspired me to not wait until Kollyns is grown to start telling her how much she means to me.  I hope and pray we are blessed with a long life together.  I dream of watching Kollyns grow up and have babies and I hope I get to see her babies have babies too.  But once again, life is short.  It is so important to me to tell her how much I love her and exactly how important she is and always will be to me.  I know this post sounds a tiny bit depressing, but that's not my intention because I am joyful that God has blessed us so abundantly.  And that's why I am going to dedicate this blog to telling my little girl how much I love her from now on.  It all started with me expressing my love for her when she was inside of me, so it is fitting that I continue.  So here continues the journey of a mom who is hopelessly in love with her little bringer of joy...

Side Note:  If you think this is oversharing, or too sappy and you're wondering why I'm putting my personal feelings out there for the world to see...you don't have to read this.  I'm mainly posting so one day my family can look back on this and the memories and we can hold on to them forever.  As I post memories, don't think I'm trying to paint a perfect picture of our life.  No one's life is perfect.  But the purpose of this blog is for me to highlight the joys of our life and the happy times.  If you don't want to read it, don't. And if you do, I hope you enjoy seeing the joy our sweet Kollyns brings to our lives!  :)

How Wonderful Life is Now That You're In the World

My oh my it's been a long time since I've blogged!  Life certainly shifts in a whole new direction once you have a child.  Life is no longer boring, or relaxing, or centered around my own wants & needs.  My life now revolves around my ever-growing, ever changing...laughing, smiling, cooing, scooting, almost crawling, hair pulling, perfect little blue eyed beauty.  And it also revolves around prayer...lots of prayer.  I've always prayed, and prayed, and prayed for everything and everyone...but it takes on a whole new meaning when you have someone you're responsible for.  I'm responsible for her well-being and for making sure that she grows into the best person she can be.  This past Sunday I heard Rusty say "Ask Not, Have Not'...and boy do I ask.  I ask for her protection, safety, health.  For God to make me the best mother I can possibly be and raise her the best possible way so one day when she can choose between right and wrong...she chooses right and decides to live her life for the one reason we were all put on this Earth...to bring glory to the Lord.  This world is so scary, and I've never been so scared in my life for her which brings me to my knees over and over and over again.  Sometimes I get myself so worked up over what bad things could happen that I just have to force myself to take a deep breath, and comfort myself in the fact that God is in control.  After all, she is His child first...she is on lend to me and He is trusting me to raise her and I will strive for the rest of my life to be the best mommy I can be.  I am forever grateful that I was blessed with such a beautiful gift and that I get to experience motherhood because it allows me to experience the most crazy kind of love.  It's a love that's unconditional, deep, gut-wrenching(I know that's a nasty sounding word, but sometimes I literally feel like my insides are now outside of my body walking (well, not yet) around...and I just want to scoop her up and put her back in my belly so I can always protect her.  lol.  I never understood a mother's love until now and it's a life-changing thing...let me tell you.  Kollyns is laying beside me in bed now snoozing away.  It's 7:30 pm so I know this probably means a long night for mommy...but I'll let her sleep because this is only her 2nd nap of the day.  The first was earlier for a mere 30 minutes.  We've come along way from the newborn stage.  I had no idea how much time I had when she was sleeping 20 out of 24 hours a day.  I would hold her for hours and just stare.  I still do that...but we've graduated from holding a perfectly still, silent newborn to a wiggly, giggly, cackling 5 month old.  She is so spoiled to her mommy because of a little bonding experience known as breastfeeding...she won't take a bottle so that means we never part (which I love).  She is taking EVERYTHING in now.  When I brush my teeth, she watches every swipe of the brush.  When I brush my hair she stares at the brush and squeals with excitement because she LOVESSSS my long hair.  When FinLee and BroDee come around she gets soooo excited and she tries to make her way to them so she can pull their fur too!  She's sitting up, crawling (backwards), pulling up, standing up (with assistance), drinking from a sippy cup, and rolling over...and over...and over...and TEETHING(yikes!).  It's crazy how quick they grow up...I can't believe how fast this is going by...she will be 6 months old this month!  That's like 1/2 a year! Whaaaatttt?  Feels like I just got pregnant.  Life is fleeting.  So we do the best we can to soak up every single sweet moment.  We are so thankful that we have our own little sunshine to remind us that life really is beautiful, and we are enjoying every second with our precious girl!