You're Almost Three!

My sweet girl,

Tomorrow is the beginning of your birthday month.  I cannot believe I have been experiencing the joy and sweetness that you have brought into my life for almost three years now.  I've forgotten what life was like before you came along, and I don't really even want to remember.  Because since the day I first saw your beautiful face, I began living my life with so much more purpose.  I became a better person because of you, because I knew that mine is the example you will follow.  You are so loving, so full of personality, so entertaining.  I barely turn the TV on, or do anything that doesn't involve you because you are so much more fun to watch and have fun with than everything else.  Every time I look at you, I'm watching my little baby...the one that used to fit so snug against my chest wrapped in a carrier, the one that I used to carry around in an infant car seat, the one that I spent so many hours nursing and changing diapers... grow into a little girl.  You're not a baby anymore (even though you will always be my baby), you are a kid.  You learn and explore and discover, and enjoy every second of it.  You don't copy my words, or look to me to tell you what to say...you have your own thoughts and you create sentences and conversations that cause my mouth to gape open in astonishment at just how advanced and exquisitely your mind works.  As we celebrate your birthday in 22 short days, I want you to know that we don't just celebrate it because it's tradition.  We are celebrating you.  We are celebrating your life, and all of the love, laughter & joy you have filled ours with.  We are celebrating the fact that God handpicked us to raise you and guide you through life.  We are celebrating the perfect way that you fit into our lives and teach us what it's really about.  We are so thankful, and so very blessed to have you.  And I want you to know that no one will ever love you or look out for your well being quite like me and your daddy.  And I want you to know that you are perfect and that there could never be a more beautiful you, because God made you and there is no one else in this world like you.  Never forget that.  I'm so excited to celebrate you this month, because in my eyes... you my love, are the greatest gift on this side of eternity.

Love, Mommy

Your first birthday party...

Now...

 

I want to remember...

 

You are still a very picky eater, you prefer the five major food groups:  chicken nuggets, macaroni & cheese, grilled cheeses, spaghetti & peanut butter sandwiches.

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You are super smart, and you can remember things from 6 months ago.

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You don't have a favorite toy, you play with everything in your playroom but you prefer to play outside.

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You will stay outside as long as I will let you, even if it's 20 degrees.

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You still sweetly torture FinLee by carrying him around in your arms, pushing him around in your baby stroller and the clothes basket, and treating him as a client at your pretend hair salon.

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You insisted that you were ready to sleep in your own bed.  Daddy & I loaded you up and drove you all the way to Toys R Us where you picked out your very own princess toddler bed with Minnie Mouse covers.  Daddy was sleepy because of his crazy work schedule, so mommy spent a good 2 hours trying to put this plastic canopy bed together.  You were super excited about it...until we turned the lights off.  This bed is right beside our bed and mommy even tried to hold your hand the first night while you fell asleep.  After 10 minutes of you trying your very best to be brave, I heard you whisper "Mommy, can I pwease sleep wif you?"  Of course I let you.  And the only kid of mine getting any use out of your $130 toddler bed to this day is the BroDee the dog.

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You learn really really fast.  And the teacher in me is overjoyed.

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You now insist that you are mommy's and daddy's girl.  Not just mommy's.  And so the transition into a daddy's girl begins.

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You spent your first night away from home the night before Thanksgiving, and have thoroughly enjoyed spending the occasional night with grandparents ever since.  All the while mommy secretly wishes you were as attached to me as I am to you.

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90% of the time, the grocery store and Target turn you into some sort of crazy child that doesn't listen and tries to escape from mommy.  Which is way I only take you with me 10% of the time.

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We read your princess Bible, learn to trace and recognize letters and numbers on the leap pad & say our prayers aloud every single night.

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You love to ride any and everything, especially your little pink bike all through the house.

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You speak in full sentences (most of the time with absolutely perfect grammar), have hilarious conversations with anyone that will listen to you, and are far more observant than almost everyone I know.

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I. Love. You.



  

The Sweetest Gift

My sweet one,

Today is my 26th birthday.  I have so much to be thankful for and I am so blessed.  I see each and every day of my life as a gift.  But the greatest gift that I will enjoy on this side of eternity is you my precious girl.  You are growing up entirely too fast, and I know I won't be able to hold you in my arms for long because time is flying by.  Every time I pick you up it seems that you have grown farther down my body.  It breaks my heart that you will soon outgrow my lap, but as you know you will never outgrow my heart and you will always always be my little girl!  I'm so thankful for every single moment with you.  What an amazing blessing it is to be in your presence every day.  As always, you bring so much joy and sunshine.  You are like a little ray of light everywhere you go.    You keep me so entertained because you are learning so fast and our conversations are the funniest.  You surprise me everyday with your wit and your humor, your sweetness and your temper.  You don't hold back what you feel, and I hope you always stay that way.  I love you forever and these are the things I don't want to forget...

Every morning after you wake up and get dressed I sit you on the kitchen counter to fix your cup of milk.  Before we leave I lean down and we hug.  We call it our morning hug, and you hug me so tight. Every single morning. 

You are no longer just a mommy's girl.  You now insist that you are Mommy AND Daddy's girl. 

You torture our dogs in the sweetest possible way.  You are always trying to pick them up and put them in bed, or on the sofa, or outside.  You're trying to "help" but it drives them crazy.

You love to ride in or on anything.  Tractors, golf carts, bicycles, wagons, lawn mowers.  Anything.

You still say "my" when you should say "I".  The day you replace "my" with "I", mommy will cry.

You still come to work with me everyday and I cringe at the thought of someday dropping you off at preschool on my way to work.  Even though it's a full year away.

You are still a super picky eater.  But you will eat mostly anything if I tell you it's chicken (shrimp, fish, meatballs, turkey, etc.).  Don't worry, after you decide that it's yummy I tell you the truth.  If only it worked with fruit.

You dress yourself.  And I'm not allowed to help you in the slightest way.

You randomly tell me you love me and it makes my day, everyday.

I love you so much pretty baby.  And thank you Lord for the gift of my beautiful girl Kollyns.  Happy Birthday to me.

The Little Things

Hi sweetie,

I just want you to know how absolutely adorable, sweet, funny and entertaining you are.  You have the most colorful personality of anyone I know, especially when you don't get your way.  So much has changed since even your 2nd birthday and I cannot believe how big you have gotten.  You are certainly not a little baby anymore, but don't ever forget that you will always be my baby no matter how big you are.  There are so many things you are doing now that I never want to forget.  We have conversations now and I feel like you completely understand EVERYTHING, unless of course you don't get your way and then you act confused.  You say "My" when you should say "I."  "Mommy my want to go play."  "Mommy my not like peas." You tell me what you want without me having to ask you. You tell me you 'wuv' me and ask for kisses.  You crinkle your nose when you laugh or get really excited about something.  You love surprises.  You love water...ice water, pool water, lake water, bath water, fish pond water, river water.  Water is your thing.  But you say it in an English accent so it sounds more like 'wahta.'  You are so good with manners.  But everyone is ma'am.  There are no sirs.  You say pretty pretty please when you want something.  You really love being naked.  But you are also adamant about putting your clothes on all by yourself. You love shoes almost as much as I do.  Your favorite foods are macaroni and cheese, pizza, chicken nuggets, pasta in any form...especially spaghetti, goldfish, fruit loops, cheerios, breadsticks, and carrots dipped in ranch dressing but you lick the ranch off and spit the chewed up carrot in my hand (I have myself convinced that you are getting some sort of vitamins or nutrients in your system even when you spit the veggies out).  You love being outside and if I let you, you would stay out there all day.  Storms scare the heck out of you.  Chicka Chicka Boom Boom is your favorite book ever and we read it at least twice a day.  We pray together at night and you always start our prayer off by saying "Dear Word, tank you tor..."  (Dear Lord, thank you for) and at the end you say "Wuv You Desus, AMEN!" It's the cutest thing I have ever heard.  You're obsessed with golf carts, but won't ride anything that makes noise such as a lawn mower or 4 wheeler.  You have 3 babies and their names are Betty, River and Soup.  I have no idea where the name Soup came from?  Your hair finally fits into a ponytail and pigtails, and you prefer both because you are not a fan of your hair getting into your eyes when you are trying to play.  When your daddy is at work you are like a little machine asking "Where my daddy?"  "Where my daddy?"  And anytime you see a car that is red you say "Is dat my daddy's torvette?" because he has a red Corvette.  You love for us to take you to the River and let you "drive" down the dirt road in daddy's lap.  You are a little whip on an iPad.  Like seriously, you are super duper smart.  But you prefer real books and puzzles.  You love to help in the kitchen and you love riding your bike.  I'm sure there are so many other things that you do that I don't want to forget, and I'll have to come back to them later. 

I love you so much my beautiful, sweet, feisty little girl.         

So so much.

Spring has Sprung!

Hey beautiful girl,

I'm just sitting here watch you bounce around the office in the best mood ever and decided it was time for me to write you another little letter! We have had the best past few weeks together enjoying the beautiful weather and playing outside! You are talking in full sentences now, so you definitely tell me exactly what you want to do and when you want to do it. Anytime we are outside playing and hear a mower or a tractor or anything you say "Mommy, what's dat? Dat scared me t'death" It's so hilarious...and it's obvious that you are around me all the time because I say that ALOT. Yet another reminder that it's super important for me to watch every word that leaves my mouth. You are one amazing little girl. Everything that you do brings out all kind of emotions in me. You can bring me overwhelming joy and happiness, and at the same time sadness because you are growing up way too fast. I love you sweetie, can't wait for many pretty spring and summer days full of playtime to come!

Happy Easter Precious Girl!

Easter is mommy's favorite holiday because we get to celebrate our risen Savior!  Oh how He loves us my sweet girl, so much that he made the ultimate sacrifice so we can be together forever and ever.  I hope one day when you are old enough to understand the real reason behind Easter you will cherish the cross and appreciate with all of your heart the grace and love that God has given us.  But since you are so little, of course Easter was filled with egg hunts & sweet treats & presents from the Easter Bunny!  It melted my heart watching you hold your little Easter basket while you enthusiastically searched through the grass looking for brightly colored candy filled eggs.  Your little eyes were filled with such wonder and excitement and I just drank in every moment.  I've always loved the holidays, but oh they are so much more fun now that I get to share them with you.  And as you get older, they just become even more magical.  I love you, beautiful!

xoxo, Mommy

Mommy, Kollyns, Papa Todd & Teddy 

 Mommy, Kollyns & Uncle Teddy

Easter Sunday in Our Matching Jean Jackets (You were ready for a nap)

   
Daddy was working so he couldn't enjoy Easter with you! We missed him lots!

Just Like Mommy!

As you grow up I'm seeing more and more of myself in you.  You're prissy, you DO NOT like dirt, you're shy around people you don't know, you love to play with makeup and have your nails painted and put on lotion, you love to give hugs, you don't like it much when you don't get your way...but then you get over it really quick, you like to vacuum and clean things, you love pancakes and Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, you like to help in the kitchen, and the list goes on and on.  I can't get over how much you are talking now.  Sunday morning you were getting dressed and I picked out your black sparkly boots for you to wear...you said "No Mommy, I want my Toms."  You are ALREADY telling me what you want to wear!  Lord help me.  I love being able to communicate with you fully and understand exactly what you are trying to say.  I am amazed by how smart you are and how compassionate you are this early in life.  Mommy has been a little sick this past week and when I would look at you and say "Mommy doesn't feel good Kolly" you would rub my hair and say "I sowwy Mommy, it's okay."  When I would cough you would say "Cough dwop mommy?" and you would go get me a cough drop.  You pick up on every single word you hear, and that's a good reminder for mommy to be on her best behavior! :) I love you sweet girl, and I'm excited to celebrate Easter with you soon and let you help me dress you up that day!

xoxo Mommy

You wanted to match Mommy this morning!

Matching nails!  I can't believe you actually sat still long enough for them to dry!

Papa Teddy Loves You...

My sweet girl,

Recently something really neat happened to us.  I have never told you about your Papa Teddy because I didn't think you were old enough to understand.  Your Papa Teddy was one of the greatest men I've ever known.  He was so kind to everyone, and to know him was to love him.  He had the best perspective on life and he treated everyone with respect.   On top of that, he was the best papa a girl could have.  I can still remember sitting in his lap and him just wrapping his arms around me and showering me with his love.  He would have absolutely adored you my beautiful girl.  You would have lit up his world just like you do ours.  I don't know why he was taken away from us so soon, but not a day goes by that I don't think about him...and I can't wait to tell you everything about that wonderful man someday.  A few weekends ago me, your Nanny Paps (Patsy) and you were heading up to Lynchburg to do some Saturday morning shopping.  Your Papa Todd, Nanny Cris, and Landon were headed to Richmond.  Before we left, they stopped by our house to drop off a few things.  You were in the playroom playing with your Uncle Landon and out of NOWHERE you started calling him Teddy.  From then on whenever you see him you run to him saying "Teddy, Teddy!"  And if I show you a picture of Landon, you say "Mommy, that's Teddy!" We were all stunned and amazed that you just out of the clear blue started calling him that.  We don't refer to any of your stuffed bears as 'Teddy' and I can't remember anyone ever talking about Papa Teddy around you.  Still to this day, you are calling your Uncle Landon, Teddy.  I hope it sticks for the rest of your life because it's such a sweet reminder of one of the best men that ever lived.  I am crying typing this because it was like God wanted us all to know that Papa Teddy is hanging out in Heaven, still watching over us even after all these years...and just patiently waiting for the day we all meet him again.  I love my Papa Teddy so much, and it's so amazing how God allowed us that special moment as a family through you, my sweet little girl.   

XOXO, Mommy

 Papa Teddy with his hand on mommy

 

 Papa Todd, Papa Teddy & Me (Papa Todd was quite a sight to behold back then)

 

Kollyns & Teddy ;)



Kollyns at work!

Sometimes I feel like you are missing out on alot by not being in daycare or in a setting with other kids and teachers.  Then I'm like...that's ridiculous!  You are the best place you could possibly be.  I am so blessed that I get to bring you to work with me every day and that you get to spend time with your nanny and papa and me.  But just in case you are missing out on the learning experience, I try to get you to use a little brain power every day whether it's by drawing, working a puzzle, painting or matching colors and shapes.  And we always always always count to 10 out loud and sing our ABC's in the bath tub!  Here are a few of my favorite pictures of you at work learning and playing!

 

Lazy River Days

Some of my favorite memories include watching you and your daddy play.  A few weeks ago we had a short stretch of pretty days so we took a drive down to the river to play.  I was at the cabin and looked down and saw daddy trying to teach you how to skip rocks into the river.  Watching my two favorite people having fun together and enjoying life just melted my heart.  These are the precious moments I live for. I love you pretty girl!

Is this for real?

Am I really planning your 2nd birthday party? I really don't know where the time has gone, but it sure went by way way way WAY too fast. What a blessing you have been in our lives since the day you were born.  You certainly bring me an overwhelming amount of joy, but you also challenge me in so many ways.  There are the obvious challenges, like getting you to use the potty, or teaching you to not pitch tantrums when things don't go just right.  Or cleaning up your toys after you've played with them.  Or convincing you that picking FinLee up upside down is not okay.  But then there are the far deeper ways you challenge me.  You make me want to be a better person.  You make me want to be who I one day want you to become.  You make me want to develop an even deeper relationship with the Lord so you will see the profound impact a relationship with Christ has on one's character and life, as I am the example you will most likely follow.  So with that being said, I wish I could give you the most magical party in the world...but even then it wouldn't come close to comparing to all you've given me since the first day I saw you.  So I had originally planned to do a theme for your party.  Well, you don't like TV...so a cartoon/tv show theme is out of the question.  I could do a fancy little theme and go over the top with it, but I just don't see myself doing that either.  So I picked a few bright pretty colors (pink, orange & yellow) because you are such a bright spot in our lives, and the "theme" will be Kollyns' Favorite Things...which will influence the menu and favors!  :) I just placed my first order from Shop Sweet LuLu & oh how I love that shop.  Reasonably priced, and such cute stuff.  I could've really spent some green in there, but I was a good girl and only bought the necessities.

 

Menu

 

Drinks

Chocolate Milk Shooters (With Chocolate Sprinkles on the Rim)

Water

Watermelon Gatorade

Food

(Notice none of the menu choices are healthy, yet another challenge haha)

Mac & Chese Cups

Chick Fil A Chicken Nuggets

Mini Grilled Cheeses

Gold Fish

Mini French Fry Baskets

Sugar Cookies

Cake (Similar to the one below)

 

 

Favors

A Candy Bar Complete with pink, yellow & orange M&M's (Kollyns' Favorite Candy EVER)

 

 

 

Sooo adorable!

I uploaded this video to my computer from my iPad today and I absolutely had to post it on here.  You were only 18 months old walking in my heels like a pro, and at the end you show off some mad tap dancing skills.  Too funny not to remember! :)

Smart girl...

Whenever you try to eat, the dogs will not leave you alone. (Probably because 75% of the time, you are secretly feeding them your food.) But when mommy fixes you something that you really really like (like a peanut butter sandwich)...you will sit in your car with your cup in the passenger seat, prop those feet up & enjoy your food as the dogs suffer the ultimate disappointment of realizing you're keeping this snack all to yourself! You crack me up pretty girl! Mommy loves!!!

Where does the time go?

My sweet girl,

Next month we will be celebrating your 2nd birthday! How in the world did that happen? Mommy cannot believe how fast time flies.  It feels like I was just holding you for the first time and I remember every moment from that day, but that was so long ago.  You make life so much fun for us!  We enjoy so much watching you learn and grow...and even watch you come into your own and pitch little fits (actually they are rather big, embarrassing fits).  They are few and far between, but I'm trying to figure out how to handle the terrible two's that we are told will be coming soon.  We are getting little glimpses of your strong willed nature when things don't quite go your way and I have a hard time not laughing.  These are the moments where I have to step in and teach you how to handle situations.  For now, when you scream in anger or do things that you aren't supposed to...I put you in a hold (a time out for toddlers who don't quite understand the concept of sitting still, complements of Aunt Shana).  I sit you in my lap facing outward and hold your left arm with my right hand and your right arm with my left hand (It's almost like you are hugging yourself), and I count aloud to 10.  You absolutely HATE this.  You scream as if I'm torturing you, but after I count to 10 you immediately stop screaming and find something to play with like it never even happened.  You are too funny, which is why I face you away from me when I am trying to teach you a lesson so you can't see me laughing at myself as I try to enforce rules and boundaries.  You reached a big milestone this past Sunday night at church.  I took you down to the nursery and you walked right in and started playing without even missing me.  It was sad for mommy, but it was also nice because I like that you are becoming independent and learning how to play with friends.  As an only child who comes with me to work everyday I was worried you would have a hard time adjusting...but you definitely fall right into place with kids your age.  You have been having a blast playing with your new Christmas toys!  MarLee taught you how to ride your little powerwheels 4 wheeler up and down the halls at work and you think you are something else.  Everytime I look I see you flying by my office door grinning from ear to ear.  You haven't quite figured out how to steer yet and even when you run into a wall you keep your finger on the button because you enjoy watching the wheels spin in place (haha) and when you get tired of that...you get off, turn it around and go back down the hall! This keeps you entertained for a long time.  You also love your magnetic Melissa & Doug dolls and making mommy food in your new kitchen.  You will sit in your new Mercedes car when we are in the playroom and push all of the buttons but you aren't very comfortable with driving that yet.  You've also developed a new love for torturing our dogs.  I'm trying my best to teach you that this isn't funny and I'm not sure where this is coming from.  You will hold their treat bag in your hand because you love to give them their treats and stand there laughing hysterically while they bark at you, begging for a treat.  Then you finally let them have their way.  And you also like chasing them around with the musical instruments from your new band set.  Not very nice...I'm trying to break you of this.  You have started to ask to use the potty sometimes...but only because you want me to give you a MiMi (M&M) when you are finished. Heyyy, whatever works! Oh and I have to trick you into eating fruits and vegetables by baking them into the shape of fries.  Your favorite foods are chicken nuggets, french fries, spaghetti, bread, peanut butter sandwiches and yogurt (but only if it's in the cute little gogurt to-go tubes).  Your favorite thing to drink is water, although your grandparents are forever trying to slip you soda (gross) and that drives mommy crazy...because if I've done anything well, it's teach you to love water!!!  What else is new this week?  Oh, you give the best hugs and kisses...and you won't go to sleep until we say our prayers and you kiss mommy, daddy, BroDee, and
FinLee goodnight!  Guess it's time for me to stop typing out my random thoughts and start planning your birthday party little one!  I love You!

Mommy

Captured: Our December Instagram Pics

Letting you choose...

Kollyns,
Today I told you to go in your room & pick out something to wear. You said "okay mommy, wait" and you came back with your bumblebee headband, a tye dyed shirt & brown fuzzy boots . I'm pretty sure I laughed for a good 5 minutes as you dressed yourself. I was tempted to actually let you go out in public in this because you were so proud of your choices! But it's 40 degrees out, & pants are a must. I love you, my funny little girl. You keep me entertained at all times! XoXo -Mommy

Oh What Fun...

My dearest Kollyns,

This Christmas was my best one yet because of YOU my precious girl.  You make everything so magical & fun.  I felt like a kid again because I was able to see life through the eyes of sweet little innocent you.  As you tore into those presents your big bright blue eyes were filled with wonder and excitement.  Oh to be a kid again and not have a worry in the world.  My heart was so full this season because you fill my life with so much more than I could've ever imagined.  This year your vibrant personality was on display for all to see and it made us that much more excited for the years to come.  You see the beauty in everything and you glow...and that makes me see the beauty in everything as well.  I love you so much sweet girl of mine.  You make me want to be the best person I can be and I promise to be that for you because you deserve it.

Memories I want to carry from this Christmas:

You wouldn't stop unwrapping a present until each little piece of paper was off of the gift. 

Anytime you opened a baby doll, we might as well come back to unwrapping later, because the baby doll held your attention for at least 5 minutes. 

Any new clothes or shoes you got had to be put on right in that moment.  You are definitely all girl. 

Once we moved all of your toys into your playroom you would be playing and come find me, grab me by the hand and say "play mommy."  I would sit down, you would find your favorite toy and bring it to me...then you would sit in my lap and we would play and play.

I have moved up from being mama to Mommy.  Your new thing is to say: mommy, mommy, mommy, MOMMY, mommy, MOMMY.  Over, and over, and over again. I love it.

And I love you. To the moon & back.

A New Perspective.

Ever since Kollyns was born I have poured prayers of protection over her.  It's impossible to make sense of a tragedy such as the one Newtown just recently endured.  I cannot fathom the pain and suffering of those parents and those families.  It makes you wonder WHY.  Some would be quick to say why would God allow this to happen?  The truth is God doesn't make choices for people.  People have free will to choose to act as they desire and when things like this happen it reveals exactly how much the world needs our Savior.  It breaks my heart to see what a broken and twisted world my little girl has to grow up in.  It's so sad to see the lack of value people place on human life and the ways that people knowingly and unknowingly hurt one another on a daily basis.  There won't be peace on Earth again until the Lord comes back and none of us know when that will be.  So all we can do is pray and show God's love to everyone we come in contact with and hope that with each little thing we do nice for someone, we are contributing to making a difference.  I pray for my sweet little girl almost as much as I breathe.  I beg God to create in her a pure heart that loves everyone and sees everyone as He does.  I hope she has the heart of a servant, after all that is why we are here... and sees her worth through the eyes of her Heavenly Father.  On top of the crazy amount of sadness I took away from watching these families go through this from far away on a tv screen, I also took away a new perspective.  It's easy to forget how short our time here on Earth is.  It's easy to forget to tell the people we love that we love them.  The principal that lost her life has a daughter that was on the news reading one of the many sweet 'just because' notes her mom had written her telling her how important she is to her and that she is never alone even in her darkest hour.  I saw this beautiful daughter of hers reading this note on camera and I felt the tears begin to stream.  All she has left are the memories and these sweet notes her mom has written her through the years.  Kollyns took my face in her little hands and kissed my tears.  My heart melted and this struck a chord with the mediocre writer inside of me & inspired me to not wait until Kollyns is grown to start telling her how much she means to me.  I hope and pray we are blessed with a long life together.  I dream of watching Kollyns grow up and have babies and I hope I get to see her babies have babies too.  But once again, life is short.  It is so important to me to tell her how much I love her and exactly how important she is and always will be to me.  I know this post sounds a tiny bit depressing, but that's not my intention because I am joyful that God has blessed us so abundantly.  And that's why I am going to dedicate this blog to telling my little girl how much I love her from now on.  It all started with me expressing my love for her when she was inside of me, so it is fitting that I continue.  So here continues the journey of a mom who is hopelessly in love with her little bringer of joy...

Side Note:  If you think this is oversharing, or too sappy and you're wondering why I'm putting my personal feelings out there for the world to see...you don't have to read this.  I'm mainly posting so one day my family can look back on this and the memories and we can hold on to them forever.  As I post memories, don't think I'm trying to paint a perfect picture of our life.  No one's life is perfect.  But the purpose of this blog is for me to highlight the joys of our life and the happy times.  If you don't want to read it, don't. And if you do, I hope you enjoy seeing the joy our sweet Kollyns brings to our lives!  :)

How Wonderful Life is Now That You're In the World

My oh my it's been a long time since I've blogged!  Life certainly shifts in a whole new direction once you have a child.  Life is no longer boring, or relaxing, or centered around my own wants & needs.  My life now revolves around my ever-growing, ever changing...laughing, smiling, cooing, scooting, almost crawling, hair pulling, perfect little blue eyed beauty.  And it also revolves around prayer...lots of prayer.  I've always prayed, and prayed, and prayed for everything and everyone...but it takes on a whole new meaning when you have someone you're responsible for.  I'm responsible for her well-being and for making sure that she grows into the best person she can be.  This past Sunday I heard Rusty say "Ask Not, Have Not'...and boy do I ask.  I ask for her protection, safety, health.  For God to make me the best mother I can possibly be and raise her the best possible way so one day when she can choose between right and wrong...she chooses right and decides to live her life for the one reason we were all put on this Earth...to bring glory to the Lord.  This world is so scary, and I've never been so scared in my life for her which brings me to my knees over and over and over again.  Sometimes I get myself so worked up over what bad things could happen that I just have to force myself to take a deep breath, and comfort myself in the fact that God is in control.  After all, she is His child first...she is on lend to me and He is trusting me to raise her and I will strive for the rest of my life to be the best mommy I can be.  I am forever grateful that I was blessed with such a beautiful gift and that I get to experience motherhood because it allows me to experience the most crazy kind of love.  It's a love that's unconditional, deep, gut-wrenching(I know that's a nasty sounding word, but sometimes I literally feel like my insides are now outside of my body walking (well, not yet) around...and I just want to scoop her up and put her back in my belly so I can always protect her.  lol.  I never understood a mother's love until now and it's a life-changing thing...let me tell you.  Kollyns is laying beside me in bed now snoozing away.  It's 7:30 pm so I know this probably means a long night for mommy...but I'll let her sleep because this is only her 2nd nap of the day.  The first was earlier for a mere 30 minutes.  We've come along way from the newborn stage.  I had no idea how much time I had when she was sleeping 20 out of 24 hours a day.  I would hold her for hours and just stare.  I still do that...but we've graduated from holding a perfectly still, silent newborn to a wiggly, giggly, cackling 5 month old.  She is so spoiled to her mommy because of a little bonding experience known as breastfeeding...she won't take a bottle so that means we never part (which I love).  She is taking EVERYTHING in now.  When I brush my teeth, she watches every swipe of the brush.  When I brush my hair she stares at the brush and squeals with excitement because she LOVESSSS my long hair.  When FinLee and BroDee come around she gets soooo excited and she tries to make her way to them so she can pull their fur too!  She's sitting up, crawling (backwards), pulling up, standing up (with assistance), drinking from a sippy cup, and rolling over...and over...and over...and TEETHING(yikes!).  It's crazy how quick they grow up...I can't believe how fast this is going by...she will be 6 months old this month!  That's like 1/2 a year! Whaaaatttt?  Feels like I just got pregnant.  Life is fleeting.  So we do the best we can to soak up every single sweet moment.  We are so thankful that we have our own little sunshine to remind us that life really is beautiful, and we are enjoying every second with our precious girl!