A New Perspective.

Ever since Kollyns was born I have poured prayers of protection over her.  It's impossible to make sense of a tragedy such as the one Newtown just recently endured.  I cannot fathom the pain and suffering of those parents and those families.  It makes you wonder WHY.  Some would be quick to say why would God allow this to happen?  The truth is God doesn't make choices for people.  People have free will to choose to act as they desire and when things like this happen it reveals exactly how much the world needs our Savior.  It breaks my heart to see what a broken and twisted world my little girl has to grow up in.  It's so sad to see the lack of value people place on human life and the ways that people knowingly and unknowingly hurt one another on a daily basis.  There won't be peace on Earth again until the Lord comes back and none of us know when that will be.  So all we can do is pray and show God's love to everyone we come in contact with and hope that with each little thing we do nice for someone, we are contributing to making a difference.  I pray for my sweet little girl almost as much as I breathe.  I beg God to create in her a pure heart that loves everyone and sees everyone as He does.  I hope she has the heart of a servant, after all that is why we are here... and sees her worth through the eyes of her Heavenly Father.  On top of the crazy amount of sadness I took away from watching these families go through this from far away on a tv screen, I also took away a new perspective.  It's easy to forget how short our time here on Earth is.  It's easy to forget to tell the people we love that we love them.  The principal that lost her life has a daughter that was on the news reading one of the many sweet 'just because' notes her mom had written her telling her how important she is to her and that she is never alone even in her darkest hour.  I saw this beautiful daughter of hers reading this note on camera and I felt the tears begin to stream.  All she has left are the memories and these sweet notes her mom has written her through the years.  Kollyns took my face in her little hands and kissed my tears.  My heart melted and this struck a chord with the mediocre writer inside of me & inspired me to not wait until Kollyns is grown to start telling her how much she means to me.  I hope and pray we are blessed with a long life together.  I dream of watching Kollyns grow up and have babies and I hope I get to see her babies have babies too.  But once again, life is short.  It is so important to me to tell her how much I love her and exactly how important she is and always will be to me.  I know this post sounds a tiny bit depressing, but that's not my intention because I am joyful that God has blessed us so abundantly.  And that's why I am going to dedicate this blog to telling my little girl how much I love her from now on.  It all started with me expressing my love for her when she was inside of me, so it is fitting that I continue.  So here continues the journey of a mom who is hopelessly in love with her little bringer of joy...

Side Note:  If you think this is oversharing, or too sappy and you're wondering why I'm putting my personal feelings out there for the world to see...you don't have to read this.  I'm mainly posting so one day my family can look back on this and the memories and we can hold on to them forever.  As I post memories, don't think I'm trying to paint a perfect picture of our life.  No one's life is perfect.  But the purpose of this blog is for me to highlight the joys of our life and the happy times.  If you don't want to read it, don't. And if you do, I hope you enjoy seeing the joy our sweet Kollyns brings to our lives!  :)